


Old Heart

by B_Rated



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Rated/pseuds/B_Rated
Summary: Kakashi tries hard to keep his heart contained. After so long it should have been easy.





	Old Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Song: The Oh Hello's- Hello My Old Heart

Kakashi walked with his hands in his pockets down the Tower hall towards the mission’s room. There were the usual sounds of paper and people moving about the room. A few voices chatted, desk workers entertained themselves with silly village and shinobi gossip.

Kakashi waited in the back for his turn, listening to the room around him, used to the atmosphere of a bureaucratic shinobi office.

A voice laughed tensely with a soft sort of awkwardness. “I'm sorry, shinobi-san, this is my first day.”

“Take your time, no worries.” Kakashi was glad to hear back from the jonin at the front of the line. He swayed a little to see the chunin sitting at the desk, smiling and blushing with his nervousness.

He felt himself smile under his mask.

_Hello, my old heart._   
_How have you been?_   
_Are you still there inside my chest?_

He looked away quickly, trying not to think about the way a facial scar could be so fitting. Kakashi walked towards the desk, seeing another chunin available to take his report.

_I’ve been so worried._   
_You’ve been so still._   
_Barely beating at all._

Kakashi walked home with his hands in his pockets again. Usually he’d be reading as he went through the village but today he’d rather focus on his thoughts.

It had been a long time since anyone had made him feel anything, let a lone a beat so hard in his chest.

In the end he decided it was nothing, an impulse to seeing someone laughing at their own struggle.

When the same chunin wound up as a subordinate on a mission he thought nothing of it. He didn’t think much of the teams he had to lead. They had a job to do and he would see it done.

But their formation fell apart and they were left vulnerable to attack which the enemy took advantage of.

After the battle Kakashi made the hard decision to go back. The chunin from the mission desk needed carried home.

_Hello, my old heart._   
_It’s been so long since I’ve given you away._   
_Everyday I add another stone to the walls I built around you to keep you safe._

The Hokage wasn’t as upset as Kakashi thought he would be but it was clearly the kind of news he had been hoping for.

Kakashi was surprised to see the chunin out of the hospital so soon. He was even more surprised to hear him admit to his shortcomings. He knew about his own faults and bravely asked the Hokage for permission to pursue teaching.

The absolute joy that came from the Hokage's approval made Kakashi smile again.

_Don’t leave me here alone._   
_Don’t tell me that we’ve grown for having loved a little while._

He laid in his bed, staring at the dark ceiling thinking of his old team. The last people who had made him feel anything. 

Kakashi breathed and closed his eyes, turning onto his side. That would be the last love he ever knew, it was only fair, for what he did.

But even in trying to hold himself to that he drifted back to the worried looking chunin sitting on the bench.

_I don’t want to be alone._   
_I want to find a home and I want to share it with you._

Iruka was kind and loyal, strong willed and fiercely protective of someone who needed it. Kakashi saw him change from the chunin that he had been on a mission with.

_Hello, my old heart._   
_How have you been?_   
_How is it being locked away?_

He couldn't help but to talk to him over the mission's desk. He knew he shouldn't. There was already too much pain in his life. Caring for others, getting attached, meant sorrow in the end.

_Don’t you worry, in there you’re safe._   
_And it’s true you’ll never beat, but you’ll never break._

Obito. The man in the mask was someone he’d mourned once and all the pain that had settled like a dull ache came flooding back like a fresh new wound.

There was so much he was responsible for and Obito’s path felt like it had been his fault. 

Until their last goodbyes he hadn’t known forgiveness to be so freeing.

_Nothing lasts forever._

He looked over at the chunin school teacher at the ramen counter. Naruto’s voice fading like background noise of a bureaucratic office.

_Somethings aren’t meant to be._

Iruka had never given him any reason to think anything more was there.

_But you’ll never find the answers until you set your old heart free._

“Hey, Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi reached for the man’s arm to keep him from walking away.

“Hm? What is it, Kakashi-san?” Iruka smiled patiently, with kind eyes.

_Hello, my old heart._

He felt himself getting nervous, reaching for the back of his head. Every beat thudding in his chest. “I was wondering…”

Iruka’s smile fell, waiting with curiosity.

_Hello, my old heart._

“Would you- go out with me sometime?”

“Oh.” Iruka dropped his eyes to the side, chewing his lip for a second. “Like a date…?”

Kakashi nodded. 

_Hello, my old heart._

He readied himself for rejection. “If not it’s-”

“Okay!” Iruka blurted first.

_Hello, my old heart._

Kakashi felt himself smiling and this time didn’t try to stop it.

Iruka laughed at himself and his awkwardness.

_Hello, my old heart!_

Nothing had felt as wonderful as when Iruka held his hand.

_Hello, my old heart._

FIN


End file.
